Father. Hood.

Today in my EDEL class we were discussing different gender roles and how they have evolved over the years. I was asked how I felt about the changing roles of fatherhood, and the pressures that come along with these changes.

In many ways I have often felt like I missed the class that taught all boys that they had to act a certain way, and also the one that taught us to try and impress one another. I guess God just gifted me not to be horribly concerned about these things. I told the professor that I don't feel a whole lot of pressure from without, but rather that I have internal values that put pressure on me.

I wonder what sort of role I should take with boys and girls in our neighborhood. This week I've become aware that Alex is starved for attention. He woke up at 6:00 am to go running with me on Tuesday. What normal 14 yr old does that? I see some of the young girls beginning to dress provocatively and I wonder if it is appropriate to say something to them. I know these girls. I know that they lack an involved father in their life. I believe that they need positive, healthy male attention, but I worry about how that would be seen by neighbors. How do I best love them?

I also wonder about race roles. What is the appropriate role of a white male in the lives of African American youth. As I've worked with black youth I come face to face with the ugly reality of black self hatred. I've seen children begin to associate success with white and begin to believe that to become successful they must become "white." Does my positive influence perpetuate that idea? How do I fight that?

And when am I stepping on parents toes? Yesterdaymy wife and I saw a boy who couldn't have been more than 3 years old (if that) running around with his 4year old sister being watched by their 7 year old sister. No parents could see them (except us). Our neighborhood is full of sexual predators. I know that the Matriarch of their household knows this. I don't have the best relationship with her. Her boyfriend is usually intoxicated, and can be mean. Do i say something? Do I just call CPS ?

Last night I went to one of the kids football games. I liked the excuse to go to a football game, but I could have done many other things around the house. I was planning on doing yard work that has been needed for over a week when my wife reminded me of his game. This kid had told me at least twice that he had a game, and had asked if I would come see him. So the weeds went un-whacked for another day, and my little family and I went to watch the Wilson Middle School Football team get soundly whooped by Anderson's East side Middle School.

I know that I can't be everyone's father. I really don't want to be. I do want to make the most of my life and add joy and meaning to the lives of those around me. I hope that my presence in the lives of these young people will enable them to live to their fullest potential.