Dissonance: Disharmony/ mental conflict
A month or so ago I went to a conference. At the conference I was in a breakout session on using the experience of dissonance to facilitate education. The speaker spoke on how learning that winds up with application often happens in leaps rather than on some continuum of gradually showing itself over time. As I was listening I thought "that's true...how can I use this to help teach kids." As I left the break out session I kept pondering the ramifications of this session. After awhile I realized that I am the one who is experiencing dissonance and learning in leaps and bounds.
I also began to think, the kids around me are going through this all the time. It is the normal experience. I expect that there is more of an issue when things are calm. Perhaps that is when the wheels begin to turn for them.
The speaker went on to say that reflection is necessary after times of significant dissonance for change to take place -- for education to happen. so I suppose this is that for me. An attempt to reflect on the regular intervals of dissonance that occur in my life in my neighborhood.
- As I was coming home from a run this morning I noticed a man sleeping in his car which was parked on the corner across from my house.
- Last weekend I had two boys in to my house for a Bible study. We ended up talking about sex. I became aware that both of the boys are sexually active. So we began talking about what makes for wise choices in sex. One of the boys' cousins is 15 and has gotten another 15 year old pregnant. He was very aware of the risk that came with sex. I could tell that he was trying to process how to be wise and not live in the moment. In the end they left me with little hope that they would even think twice. Never-the-less these are valuable discussions to have.
- The cousin and the girl he got pregnant came by my house soon after they found out that a child was on the way. I've known this kid since he was pretty 9 years old, maybe younger. I didn't know what to say. I congratulated him, and asked him if he was going to be a man about things. He was eager to be responsible at the time. I saw him the other day and asked how things were going. He said that the girl would not return his phone calls, and that he couldn't find her.
- One of my neighbor girls came over the other day to read a book to me. The kids can earn points from one of the ladies in our church for every book they read. As she read my son sat down to be read to. I was so pleased to see my son soaking up the value to read being passed down from the middle class white lady to the poor black girl to my son. (I don't know where to classify him at this time.)
These are the sort of myriad experiences that I encounter in my neighborhood. Some good, some bad. I am fortunate to have cheap property yet my neighbor hood has a higher crime rate. People know each other. Because we don't have garages or yards our children play on the sidewalk or the street, so we look out for one another's kids. The kids themselves look after one another. Our neighborhood is racially mixed -- largely black and white, but there also is a smattering of Mexican families living in among us who play a significant role in the body of the neighborhood. It makes me feel bi-polar, this great mix of wonderful goods and horrible bads. This seems to be the plight of living in at risk neighborhoods.
I myself am often internally torn. I want to be a part of the neighborhood, yet I'm not fully. However I feel more and more the barrier being lifted. For one thing, I myself am needy. My children are on Medicaid, we (thankfully) receive W.I.C. every month, and we fit the income requirements for food stamps. The only difference is that we have greater resources. My wife's parents are financially well off. My father is financially stable ( I think). My wife has a college degree. I am at once fully immersed and yet not the same, trying to think of my neighbors as "us" instead of "them." However I also don't want to have to deal with the messiness of other people. My life is hectic enough without someone else's hecticness being thrown into it.
So how do I use all of this to partner with parents and their children? At that breakout session the speaker spoke of how dissonance often creates an empathetic desire to change things for the better. That has happened to me. The result is a search for how to go about that in the most effective manner. Elementary teaching is what seems to be the most effective way to use my influence. Having the experience of dissonance so strongly myself, I can empathize with the children and their parents. Having taken courses like Home/School Community relations I am on my way to knowing how to knowing how to empower these neighbors of mine. This is the action brought on by dissonance.
